Ballville E-Z Shop, Inc.

09/06/2026

09/06/2026

🚨🐔 CHICKEN EMERGENCY! 🚨

🍗 40LB WINGS — $45
🍗 40LB LEGS — $25

That’s a LOTTA BIRD for very little money. 😂

Your freezer called.
It wants chicken. 🐔💀

GET IN HERE BEFORE THE BIRDS ESCAPE! 🏃‍♂️🍗

09/03/2026

Don’t ask questions. Just bring a giant cooler. 🤫💼
Our manager accidentally dropped the pricing gun, creating a massive glitch in the grocery matrix. We aren't telling him until after you buy all this pork, so pack the car and take advantage of his mistake immediately:
🐷 THE GLITCHED DEALS:

* Bone-In Pork Shoulder Butts: $1.49 / lb (We are practically paying you to take these.)

**UPDATE** Boneless Pork Shoulder Butts and Baby backs have oinked their way right out of the building! WE WILL HAVE MORE BABY BACKS TOMORROW 9/4

🛑 THE LAWS OF THE MATRIX:
💥 While supplies last! When the cooler is empty, the magic spell breaks.
🚫 No phone calls or preorders. We threw the store phone in the river for maximum fairness. Use your human legs and get down here.
🐔 THE EVENING ESCAPE HATCH (4 PM – 6 PM):
Too lazy to cook tonight? Same. Sprint down here between 4:00 PM and 6:00 PM to intercept a hot, juicy Fresh Rotisserie Chicken for $8.99 a bird. Dinner = solved.
Sprint here now before management finds their calculators! 🏃‍♂️💨

08/30/2026

🚨 REMINDER, YOU BEAUTIFUL MEAT-FORGETTING CREATURES! 🚨

We’re CLOSING AT 5 PM TODAY! 🕔

Get in here BEFORE 5 or you’ll be standing outside staring through the window like a raccoon at a locked dumpster. 🦝😂

5 PM = WE VANISH. 💨

08/29/2026

August 29- Sept 4th

08/29/2026

🚨 TOMORROW IS GET OUTTA HERE O’CLOCK! 🚨

We’re CLOSING THE INSIDE AT 5 PM! 🕔
Drive thru will still be open until 10!

At 5:00, the doors are locking, the lights are going out, and we’re launching ourselves into the parking lot like escaped chickens. 🐔💨

GET YOUR MEAT BEFORE 5 OR FIGHT THE NIGHTMARE. 😂

08/28/2026

🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING NEWS: LOCAL CHICKENS HAVE LOST THEIR MINDS. 🚨🚨🚨

The rotisserie is spinning.
The chickens are sweating.
The kitchen staff has questions.
And quite frankly… we’ve lost control of the situation. 🐔🔥

🍗 WHOLE ROTISSERIE CHICKENS — $8.99 EACH 🍗
🕓 TODAY FROM 4–6 PM

That’s right. $8.99.

For less than the price of a fancy coffee, you can walk out with an entire bird that has been slowly rotating under intense heat while contemplating every decision that led it here.

These chickens are HOT.
These chickens are JUICY.
These chickens have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE.

⚠️ WARNING: Purchasing one may cause:
• Sudden happiness
• Uncontrolled dinner confidence
• Fighting over the crispy skin
• Eating “just one piece” 14 times
• Standing over the sink at 9:47 PM eating cold chicken like a raccoon

🐔 4–6 PM. $8.99 A BIRD.

COME GET YOUR CHICKEN BEFORE THESE BIRDS SELL OUT.

Because nothing ruins a Friday faster than showing up at 6:07 and hearing:

“Sorry, we’re out.”

You’ll be standing there like a man who just watched his retirement disappear.

🍗 GET. THE. CHICKEN.
YOUR FUTURE SELF WILL THANK YOU.

08/28/2026

🚨🚨 THE PORK BUTT APOCALYPSE HAS ENDED 🚨🚨

🐷💀 SOLD. OUT. 💀🐷

Y’all absolutely DEMOLISHED those pork butts like they owed you money. 😂

17–20 LB PORK BUTTS?
GONE.
$1.49/LB?
GONE.
Our hopes and dreams?
ALSO GONE. 😭

If you got one, CONGRATULATIONS.
You are now legally required to smoke it, shred it, sauce it, and make the entire neighborhood jealous. 🤣🔥

THANK YOU, YOU BEAUTIFUL PORK-OBSESSED ANIMALS! 🐷❤️

08/28/2026

🚨🚨 SOMEONE CALL THE PORK POLICE. 🚨🚨🚨

WE HAVE A BUTT SITUATION. 🐷🍑

I REPEAT:

THERE ARE WAY TOO MANY PORK BUTTS IN ONE LOCATION.

Authorities have been notified.

They said:

“$1.49 A POUND?!?”

…and then immediately bought three. 😂

🐷🔥 BONE-IN PORK SHOULDER BUTTS 🔥🐷

💰 $1.49/LB
⚖️ 17–20 LB AVERAGE

THAT'S RIGHT.

THE PIG HAS ENTERED THE CHAT.

And apparently it brought 20 pounds of itself. 😂

Your smoker is outside pacing back and forth like:

“I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU DON'T PUT THAT BUTT IN ME…” 🔥

Your crockpot is sweating.

Your BBQ sauce is having an identity crisis.

Your freezer just looked at you and said:

“BRO. WHERE ARE WE PUTTING ALL THIS?”

AND YOU SAID:

“WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT.”

THAT'S THE SPIRIT. 😂

Meanwhile, somewhere across town, your neighbor just sneezed and said:

“WHO'S SMOKING PORK?”

WE DON'T KNOW HOW HE KNOWS.

HE JUST KNOWS. 👀

And let's talk about that $1.49/LB…

For 17–20 pounds, you're looking at roughly $25–$30 PER BUTT.

THAT'S CHEAPER THAN THERAPY.

And after you spend 10 hours smoking it, you'll probably need therapy anyway. 😂

🐷 BUY ONE: Reasonable.

🐷🐷 BUY TWO: Prepared.

🐷🐷🐷 BUY THREE: BBQ enthusiast.

🐷🐷🐷🐷 BUY FOUR: Sir, this is a grocery store.

😂😂😂

🔥 BONE-IN PORK SHOULDER BUTTS
💰 $1.49/LB
⚖️ 17–20 LB AVERAGE

COME GET YOUR BUTT.

Not your friend’s butt.

Not Kevin's butt.

YOUR BUTT.

Because at this price, if you don't leave here with pork, we're legally required to ask:

“ARE YOU OKAY?” 😂

🐷🍑🔥 $1.49/LB.

THE BUTT DEAL SO GOOD, EVEN THE PIGS ARE CONFUSED.

GET IN HERE BEFORE THESE THINGS WALK THEMSELVES OUT. 🐷💨

08/27/2026

🍗 Rotisserie Chicken Mayhem 🍗

🚨🍗 ATTENTION, CHICKEN PEOPLE! 🍗🚨

The rotisserie chickens are BACK, and they’re looking hotter than your ex’s new boyfriend. 😂🔥

Golden. Juicy. Crispy. Delicious.

Basically, these chickens have their life more together than most of us.

🔥 $8.99 EACH
⏰ 4–6 PM ONLY

Swing in and grab one before they disappear faster than free food at a family reunion. 👀

🍗 ROTISSERIE CHICKENS ARE READY!
Come get yours before somebody buys the whole damn flock. 😂

No chicken was harmed in the making of this post…
Okay, that’s a lie. They’re all already cooked. 🤣🍗