Freo Central - Convenience Store

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Freo Central - Convenience Store Hello customer! Welcome to Freo Central. Please stop stealing from our store.

Hello customers! This purse was found abandoned in the women's bathroom. If you have any information about who this may ...
21/05/2025

Hello customers! This purse was found abandoned in the women's bathroom. If you have any information about who this may belong to, please let us know immediately, for personal reasons.

Hello customers! We finally got the goahead to renovate the store, and we are ready to choose a new stain for the floori...
21/05/2025

Hello customers!
We finally got the goahead to renovate the store, and we are ready to choose a new stain for the flooring. Which stain has your vote for our new look?

15/05/2025

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!
Hello customers! Unfortunately, I have bad news. Due to excessive shopper complaints about the typical customers who use our custom laser-engraving dog tag machine, we need to remove the service from operation. We have had to remove too many couples for what I can only describe as 'hygiene complaints.'
Sorry for the inconvenience!

-Cashier Ellie

Hello customers!We are hard at work in the kitchen working on fresh biscuits, but please be patient, its taking forever ...
11/05/2025

Hello customers!
We are hard at work in the kitchen working on fresh biscuits, but please be patient, its taking forever because our new baker just wont stop kneading until he says its done.

Hello customers! We seem to have made an error with our ordering. You know we value having a diverse range of imported p...
04/05/2025

Hello customers!
We seem to have made an error with our ordering. You know we value having a diverse range of imported products, but it seems there was a translation issue. These giant yogurt mentos are actually soaps! This is very unfortunate because they have been the favorite treat of all of our staff and we have all eaten multiple per day, every day this week. A friendly customer told us about the real translation on the product. Our manager is on hold with the poison control centre but it is taking a long time and the hold music is very obnoxious, so we thought we would post while we wait to see if this soap is toxic. If you have purchased this product from us, please go to your nearest hospital immediately until we find out if it is deadly or not.

Unfortunately, in accordance with our disclaimer that you automatically sign by entering the premise, we are not liable for any injury, hair loss, or death that results as a result of eating any of our imported products.

Thank you!

ATTENTION CUSTOMERSWe are having some issues with the elevator in the parking garage connected to our building, so for n...
02/05/2025

ATTENTION CUSTOMERS
We are having some issues with the elevator in the parking garage connected to our building, so for now, they are out of service. If you deal with mobility issues or just don't want to walk up the stairs, we have two employees who are on the no-no list for various worth related infractions (that cannot be legally discussed) and they would be happy to carry you up the stairs from the parking garage.
If you want to take advantage of this free service, just tell our cashier 'I KNOW WHAT YOU DID' and they will heed your command, on the 30% chance that they are the one who is in trouble (for legal reasons we can not disclose which employee that may be),
Have a Freo day!

Hello customers! Someone keeps biting our bathroom stall door. We do not know why this is happening. .osr importantly, w...
25/04/2025

Hello customers!
Someone keeps biting our bathroom stall door. We do not know why this is happening. .osr importantly, we do not know how this is happening. If you have any information to provide, please let us know right away, my brother is a dentist and wants to study this person for science.

We had to stop service if our famous cheese tasting platter because Jake realized people were fondling the cheeses after...
05/04/2025

We had to stop service if our famous cheese tasting platter because Jake realized people were fondling the cheeses after coming out of the bathroom without washing their hands first. After massive complaints and backlash over the missing cheese, we have found a solution.. individually wrapped! The cheese is free once again, folks!

If you prefer the old spread of cheeses, have a staff member watch you in the bathroom to insure you properly wash your hands by viewing the cctv. Only confirmed handwashing customers will be allowed to partake in the classic 32 cheese dairy fresh feast.

If you want to bypass the security measure you can collect ten stamps on our new Freo Central Confirmed Customer Handwashing Card confirming you washed your hands ten times. The cards are $15.97 and there are no refunds. Cards must be renewed every 90 days, and doing so comes with a free small size Coca Cola beverage of your choosing.

Stay cheesy, folks!

They said it couldn’t be done. We said Watch me
30/03/2025

They said it couldn’t be done. We said

Watch me

Looking for a holiday gift? We've got you covered!
04/02/2025

Looking for a holiday gift? We've got you covered!

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