19/03/2024
Whatever we choose to post here is just a snapshot of our reality. Not all of it, just a the bit I choose to be seen by. The rest, whatās not pleasant, easy to talk, ugly, gets hidden. But true life, I reckon itās what happens behind the screens.
I had planned to post today about the new branch of The Wonder Mates Enterprises. And believe me, I tried. What you are not seeing is the videos that I recorded, and all the things that went wrong. The frustration, the anger because the video cut off because I went too long. What you donāt see, is the failure. But what you do see, is acceptance.
Acceptance to be vulnerable.
I went overtime because I took the opportunity to engage with my wife on camera so I could hopefully support her to do her own video assignment she was struggling with.
But more than that, I donāt care if the tech failed or if I had everything go wrong āin businessā, because I can always try again tomorrow.
But I am angry and frustrated because I had tickets that I bought many months ago to see this amazing and inspiring woman again in Adeilaide, and I couldnāt make it. And it crashed me. As I said, Iām used to handling curved balls and adapting. But sometimes growing up, having a family, being responsible and being āillā, means making sacrifices. Giving things up. And to be honest, that really really hit me today. Last year I saw her, and I seized at the end. But I made it, even asked a question. And this year I thought to myself: Iām unstoppable, Iāll make it no matter what. But thatās grief, grief for your own self, for your own health. One day you accept it and you think you are done. And on another it takes something you want more than anything - again - and it just hits you all over again. Like the thunder you didnāt see coming, it hits you and it throws right out. And there you are again, having to re-learn how to navigate and accept this ānewā you. That maybe, is not so āunstoppableā.
Does it get easier to watch so many things that make you happy or inspire you to keep going and be better like spending an evening with get taken away? How long can you keep dreaming after watching so many fade away?